Finding Myself Again on the Bike
Yesterday in GP Plouay, I finished 13th in the sprint from a small group. On paper, nothing spectacular. But to me, it felt like a victory. For the first time all year, I felt like me on the bike again — my legs full of fuel, not empty after two hours as they had been when my glycogen stores were depleted too soon.. And honestly, the feeling of strength and joy in that moment meant more than any result.
The truth is, this season has been incredibly tough. After breaking my back last year, the road back has been long and frustrating. I expected it to be difficult physically, but what I didn’t expect was how much deeper the struggle would go. Despite all the training, discipline, and experience I’ve built over my career, I just couldn’t get back to my usual level.
At first, I thought it was just age, or perhaps lingering effects from injury. But deep down, I knew something wasn’t right. No matter how much I ate and fuelled during races, after a couple of hours I was running on empty. My legs simply wouldn’t respond.
This year has also carried a lot of personal and life stress away from the bike — and what I’ve since learnt is that stress itself has a huge effect on the body, especially on how it processes sugar. Cortisol, the stress hormone, interferes with glucose metabolism. It turns out that what I was experiencing was something called “athlete’s paradox.”
💡 What is Athlete’s Paradox?
Endurance athletes often consume huge amounts of sugar during training and racing. Normally, the muscles pull in this sugar (glucose) with the help of insulin and burn it for fuel.
In athlete’s paradox, despite training hard, the muscles become insulin resistant — they stop taking in glucose efficiently.
The result? Sugar builds up in the blood instead of fuelling the muscles. You feel empty, weak, and underpowered — even when you’ve fuelled perfectly. Stress hormones like cortisol make this worse.
What I didn’t realise at first was how this constant hyperglycaemia (high blood sugar) was also fuelling my anxiety. My body wasn’t working properly, my head was in overdrive, and it all fed into one big vicious cycle: stress made the glucose problem worse, and the glucose problem made the stress worse.
After Romandie, though, things became much clearer. I decided to take matters into my own hands and ordered a continuous glucose monitor (CGM). Together with my brother-in-law, who’s a doctor, we started tracking and deciphering what was happening in my body. And wow — what a relief when the pieces finally fell into place.
With the right treatment to improve insulin sensitivity, I feel like a new human. More calm. More stable. And no longer in constant pain in my legs after two hours of riding. For the first time all season, I can fuel properly and my body actually responds.
If there’s one piece of advice I can share, it’s this: using a CGM isn’t just for elite athletes. It can be a powerful tool for anyone. It helps you understand how your body reacts to different foods, what keeps your energy steady, and how nutrition impacts mood and performance. Food affects our lives more than we often give it credit for.
Of course, part of me wishes I’d figured this out earlier in the year. But more than anything, I’m grateful. Grateful to feel joy on the bike again. Grateful for the calm I’ve found. And above all, grateful for the people in my life who stood by me and supported me through this process.
This experience has reminded me that performance in sport isn’t just about watts and training plans — it’s about the whole human being. Physical health, emotional well-being, stress, recovery… it’s all connected. And sometimes the hardest battles are the invisible ones we fight within ourselves.
Yesterday wasn’t a podium. But for me, it was a turning point. A moment of hope. A reminder of why I love this sport. And perhaps the start of something new.
PS: A Few Practical CGM Tips 💡
If you’re curious to try a continuous glucose monitor yourself, here are three things to look out for:
Track your meals — notice how different foods affect your glucose (big spikes versus stable curves).
Watch stress + sleep — poor sleep or high stress often raises glucose, even without food.
Experiment — use it as feedback, not judgement. Everyone’s body responds differently, so the best foods for you might surprise you.
A CGM isn’t just for athletes — it’s a tool to learn more about your body, find balance, and feel your best.